Luckiest Girl

Our doubts are traitors 

and make us lose the good we oft might win

by fearing to attempt. -William Shakespeare

For updates from Connecticut, please follow my horsemanship blog. I will try to update it regularly, but I am working on a research paper and have a couple hundred hours of practicum and teaching to do in order to get my certification and get home before Thanksgiving. As for this entry, it might be my last until I return home. 

I have been feeling the need to express something. I feel like the luckiest girl.

When you can golf like him, you can wear pink bling!

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Ok...I am fond.

I wouldn't be in Connecticut if it wasn't for the support and encouragement of Travis. When I say I could have spent the rest of my life content with just being content, I mean it. But Travis could not let me be just content anymore. He wanted more for me and made me believe that I should want more for me. A few years ago, I would not have even attempted to be here.

It starts with a jolt of awakening in April of 2011, where I returned from a trip in Arizona to confess to Travis through confused, blubbering tears that my life had changed. I made assumptions of his reaction and feared his rejection would cast doubt on what I had experienced. He listened silently as I explained. His first response was, "I believe you."

Looking back at the reason for my job at the now-defunct Service Merchandise in the mid-1990s, it was that I was meant to meet Travis. Only, at the time, I was disappointed that he had a girlfriend. I (unintentionally) returned a vending machine dollar to him at an inopportune moment for his girlfriend and shortly thereafter we were seeing each other.

Initially, he didn't understand my love of horses. I had to tell him that if he was going to have a problem with me having a horse, then I wasn't the right girl for him. I intended to always have a horse in my life. Always. I couldn't play tennis, wasn't very athletic, and was more the bookish type. So a few months later, he proposed to me on my Arab. It must have been his way of telling me that he was prepared to spend his life with a horsechick.

Anyone who knows Travis knows he has an unabashed sense of humor, relentless sarcasm, and "ludicrous speed" wit. His soft side is revealed when you hear him talk to the cat. He has an unbreakable bond with his mother and brother, likes to stay up late with his nephew playing Call of Duty, and lets his niece play rrrrough with him before bedtime. He has broken more bones than I have, but, thankfully, fewer than Evel Knievel. It's amazing that he survived a broken neck with a partial dislocation. In anatomy class this week, I was reminded that 9 years ago (almost to the day), he lived. If the dislocation at C5 would have been complete, he would have suffocated. Instead, he got back on his dirt bike and met us on the road where we were looking for him. He changed his clothes so the doctors wouldn't cut his gear and walked into Bozeman Deaconess Hospital. Two days later, Dr. Stephen Speth fitted Travis with two titanium rods, 5 screws, some wire, and relocated some hip bone fragments for the fusion. To me, this is a miracle. To him, he is immortal.

After another half decade or so, and another half dozen broken bones, he has taken up golf and has immersed himself in the game, shocking everyone (including those who have been playing since he was in diapers) with his "half swing" that can drive a ball over 300 yards down a fairway. He has won an amateur golf tournament. He has made some connections that have allowed him to play some of the best golf courses in California and Nevada, including exclusive private courses.

Travis has opened my eyes to a living, dynamic love that has grown over the past 18 years. He loves me and believes in me more than I can comprehend. I have reveled in our Yahtzee tournaments, where he has challenged me to find my inner-competitor and even roots for me when I am on a roll. He has surprised me with a horse trailer, a 30th birthday party, origami, a helicopter ride, and affection for our animals. He does the laundry. He maintains my trailer before I leave for a trip, even though he asks me to check it weeks before I leave. He changes the oil and rotates tires, changes air filters on my friends' vehicles, repairs busted pipes, and has led the way in remodeling homes in order to provide me with my dream of having a ranch house. Horse property wasn't his dream, so he lives in my dream instead. He tolerates my clutter, annual horsemanship clinic visitors, and lets me dress him for Halloween. He entertains my interest in the enneagram (he's an 8, I'm a 9) and eats my vegetarian dinners without complaining. Usually when he's upset with me, it's because of the problems I inflict on myself.

Over the years, what Travis didn't seem to understand is that no matter how much he tried to push me to look at myself in the mirror, I just couldn't see the same person he saw. I have always seen the flawed human that I am, focusing on those flaws, and vicious self-criticism told me that I was nobody special. I believed the silent voice of an inner demon over the audible voice of my husband who loved me. But this year, Travis has found a way to finally bring to my attention—in a way that I could finally hear—that I have a propensity to succumb to my doubts by failing to try something for fear of failure. I still do it, but he is supporting me so I can try to break that cycle. This, of course, scares me. I don't want to let him down.

He has waited for me: down the aisle at our wedding over 16 years ago, at marathon finish lines, and hospital waiting rooms. He is waiting for me at home, while paying the bills, feeding the dogs and Pichu, watering the braided Pachira "money tree", and letting my little blonde horse out of his muddy stall.

I just wanted to let everyone know how much I love and appreciate you, Travis. Thank you.

Yep. I am pretty sure I am the luckiest girl.

First amateur win - SCGA Crossings Tournament

The Crossings at Carlsbad—a course that gave away three times as many bogies as it did birdies, a course that another player complained should have all their greens bulldozed and leveled, a course that was tough for all who played—turned out to be the course that Travis would take home his first amateur golf tournament trophy.

He won low gross score winner and tie for first net score (but he couldn't win two trophies).

Needless to say he is pretty excited to meet his goal of winning an amateur tournament in 2013. This was his fourth tournament this year.

Congrats, Trav!!

This cup can hold a lot of soda

Merry Christmas — Reflecting and hope for the future

It's just a few days away. Merry Christmas everyone! It's cooold up here, with some lingering snow on the ground. The horses are blanketed and Jaeger is cozy on his bed beside me.

2012 has been a phenomenal year. Looking back at things I've blogged about, and some things I didn't share, it's been a good year. Where applicable, I will link to corresponding blog entries.

Travis recovered from his ACL replacement and went back to golf as quickly as possible, dropping his handicap to the single digits. He has played some of the best golf courses, including PGA West and Shadow Creek, and has played in three states this year (CA, NV, UT). While recovering from knee surgery he built a wrought iron front fence and gates that turned out amazing! Now if we can only get the last of the horseshoes we are using to adorn the fence, we will be done. When he wasn't golfing, he course marshaled a century ride in Big Bear this year, did a couple of short speed training runs with me, and rode mountain bikes with Jason on our anniversary trip to Colorado, and took his 52 split window bug to a couple of VW shows. He has not been on a dirt bike in over a year, and has spent 2012 injury free.

VW Jamboree, Irvine August 2012

As for me, I've been riding, running, reading, and writing. This year, my horsemanship ventures took me to Phoenix in March for a Buck Brannaman clinic, to Reno with Alisa in May, and brought Paul Dietz to Big Bear in July. Drifter is every bit the horse I had dreamed he would be, while Jake is still my go-to horse for when I am feeling competitive. He's put me in the money in a few cow sorting jackpots. As for running, I just barely completed the Phoenix marathon in January (on a hilarious trip with Nell and Peggy), ran the Pasadena half marathon in February and, this fall — after finally putting in some decent training runs — I finished the St. George marathon in what was by far the most exhilarating marathon experience. 

Suz and Drifter learning to rope (not great form here, loop way too small - haha!), Paul Dietz clinic Norco, CA 

We took a few trips this year, including a visit to Lompoc in March to golf and relax, a visit to Colorado for our 15th wedding anniversary in June (shamefully not blogged...what an awesome trip hiking and hanging out with Jason and Lou!), St. George Utah in October, and Vegas in October (following the marathon) and November (for a golf tournament). 

To get to this old Crystal, CO mine, you have to take a terrifying, vertigo-inducing dirt road.

Hanging Lake near Glenwood Springs, CO

We also got a boat this summer, used it a few times and sold it this fall. We took Pat and Rusty out on the lake in August, but we had to get towed in when the engine failed. In September, Hans and Samantha came up and Samantha stayed on the swimdeck until sundown, then tried her hand at driving the boat. She liked full throttle circles the best.

Watch out for that boat! Look out, ducks! Don't hit the buoy!

Construction: We have been stuck with major repairs due to a suspicious water leak upon our last tenants' departure from the rental house. Floors and cabinets needed to be replaced. After this last bout of inconsiderate tenants, we are looking to sell. In addition to repairing the rental house, I came home this fall to find Travis dismantling the hall closet and tearing out drywall. He has always disliked the jack-and-jill guest bathroom and decided it was time to convert it, close off access from the guest bedrooms and move entry to the bathroom from the living room, and remodel with slate tile and knotty alder cabinets. It's going to be the nicest room in the house!

New floors and cabinets at rental house

Remodeling guest bathroom at home

As for Christmas and the New Year: we are looking forward to seeing our nephew Trevor and niece Samantha this Christmas. For 2013, we look forward to what is to come and I wish to express my thanks to everyone and everything that has gotten me here. And we hope that all of our friends and family, near and far, have a safe and happy holiday season. 

Merry Christmas everyone!

I will finish this entry with my hope for a kinder future for animals. 

As you are certainly aware: legislation takes a long time. Starting this Christmas season and into 2013, will you please vote (with your wallet)? My request is as simple as deciding where you shop for groceries. It's far overdue that this supposedly civilized country get its meat handling practices under control. What you eat is your decision, but there is absolutely no reason that the meat on your plate should be mistreated when it is still alive. Labels like organic, cage free, or grass fed is not enough. There is a voluntary standard that some meat-packing plants have implemented that go above and beyond the bare-minimum practices set forth by the USDA. These voluntary practices, pioneered by Dr. Temple Grandin, have produced measurable objective criteria to evaluate the well being of the animals, and the best part is there are enough grocers in the country who sell meat from these plants that you can make a difference without inconveniencing your normal routines. If more people begin to demand (via what they purchase) that their food comes from certified humane sources—that means no growth hormones, no deliberate abuse, and less stress for the animals at slaughter—then the rest of the industry will have to change. If you agree to become more cognizant of where your food/meat is coming from, I've done some research for you. 

Where to shop: Certified humane meat can be found in Southern California only at Trader Joes, Vons, and Whole Foods grocery stores (with the exception of a few small market operations). If you don't have a Vons or Traders Joes in your area, stores in other parts of the country that sell certified humane meat include: Safeway, Bi-Lo, Piggly Wiggly, Publix. Or you can find where to shop in your area at certifiedhumane.org.

Thank you for reading...and for your consideration :) ~Suzanne

Caddies can wear shorts

A foot of fresh snow feel in Big Bear this past weekend, but we got to miss the white stuff because Travis played in a charity golf tournament in Palm Springs at the Classic Club Golf Course in Palm Desert.

While he and John were golfing, Candace and I hit the outlets in Cabazon and got some great deals at Under Armor, Cabi and Volcom. After shopping, Candace and I went to the clubhouse and watched the awards in which it was revealed that:

Travis's team took 1st place in the Charity Tournament.

So on Saturday night, we went to Kobe Restaurant in Rancho Mirage. No, not Kobe beef. It's kind of like Benihana except more tasty and more pricey.

I don't think any of you readers will ever realize how big of a deal it is that we went to Kobe. It's Japanese food. Travis went there. And he LIKED it. He really enjoyed the teppan chef. It was awesome! 2012 has been a big year for us. Travis has ventured out of his food comfort zone twice. Himalayan food and Japanese teppan have now been added to the list of acceptable places to eat! Yay!

Travis and John got up Sunday morning to golf in La Quinta. I was half asleep when Travis left the bedroom and I overheard a conversation that went something like:

John: Pants? it's going to be like a hundred, dude.

Travis: If I am going to be on The Tour, I'm going to have to get used to wearing pants.

John: Caddies can wear shorts.

Travis: Then you can caddy for me in shorts!

How is it that guys are so quick witted and can insult each other and make it sound funny, not bitchy?

Despite John sending this picture to us:

Travis won a couple of "skins"...I still don't understand why they call it that...and we met the guys at Las Consuelas Nuevas for a late lunch.

Finally, we met up with Mellany and Mark for some Cold Stone ice cream before leaving warm weather for not-so-warm weather back on the mountain.

Fence Update

I was so tired from the Pasadena half marathon, it took me two weeks to post another update. And speaking of running, I have to give a shout-out to my friend, Melissa, who just completed her first 5k. This amazing  mommy of two (and prolific blogger, and cuppycake baker) got out there for a great cause and has already signed up for her second one. I can't even express how proud I am of her. Mel, you better be careful...it's kindof addicting!

Before golf and horsebackriding, Travis and I got up early on Sunday morning to finish putting up sections of fence. We still have two small sections on the west entry return, but Travis has to build one more section and needs the piece he already built to use as a template.

Holes to fill

We had three more eight footers and two five footers to put in before the sun warmed the frozen earth into a mud bog. But we didn't work fast enough and ended up working in the mud anyway. I think it was worth it, though, because it looks awesome!

Cutting to fit

Looks nice? Let us know what you think! My farrier is going to provide us with some draft horse sized horseshoes to put in the openings. 

Once we were finished for the morning, Travis headed down the hill with some buddies to golf and I hauled Drifter over to ride with Kathy. Two more weeks until we are off to Arizona for Buck's clinic! Yay!! Which reminds me, if you haven't seen Buck, you should check it out. It's still streaming on Netflix.

11 miles and some fencing

I got back on the wagon and made up for last week's lack of an 11 mile run. I took it slow, as is recommended for a long slow distance training run. Normally, I race out as quickly as I can, but lack the endurance to keep running as the miles slip away. This happens in my marathons as well. So I decided to take training recommendations seriously and gave it a shot. Guess what. I kept my pace the entire 11 miles, and I feel GREAT today. Usually, when I burn out my training runs, I end up crippled for a few days after. 

Huh, imagine that. I don't know everything!

My Garmin tells no lies...

Except it leaves out the part where a wiener dog almost got hit by a car
in order to try to attack me in my last mile. He almost got pepper sprayed...

Unfortunately, I didn't make it to the Surf City Marathon to cheer on my friends from MBFC and the Las Vegas Marathon, but I will tell you De'Anna got a PR (personal record) with 4:09:xx in the full marathon (oh, I am a wee bit jealous of that time) and Nell reported success for the girls running the half marathon, despite some sushi-colored blisters.

But staying home allowed me to continue to edit a DVD for Paul and help Travis put up more fence along the front of our property.

We might have gotten all eight sections up, but we had a lot of visitors, which is nice...except Travis was going to a Super Bowl party at his boss's house, so we had to cut the afternoon short. The nice thing about these larger sections of fence is they cover a lot of ground, so it seemingly goes up pretty quickly. I am very excited about it. Travis hated the old fence and it's nice to see his vision take shape.

I took a break from video editing to ride Drifter. Details at my horsemanship blog.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Fun with facial hair

Warning...completely random post...

So Travis decided to grow his beard until he went back to work. He got a pretty decent lumberjack/biker look going during his recovery. I thought, with his beard, that he had rugged good looks and that's all that matters...

So recovery happened, he started golfing again, work was inevitable, so it was time to clean things up a bit.

But, oh, there are so many looks that can be had before the beard comes off...

Anybody remember Ambrose Burnside? This Union Army general in the American Civil war got a facial hairstyle named after him.... Yes, this is where the term sideburns came from.

Does this make my chin look small?

Should Travis be the one to bring 'em back?

I'm telling you, we really thought about it.

Moving on...

Mustaches have almost always been popular...and in the past couple of years, it has just been way too cool if you rocked one like Tom Selleck.

This 'stache shaped the 1970s and '80s

Veronica Corningstone couldn't resist this one...

Oh, honey, can we keep it? Please!?

But no, Travis was back to shaping away at his facial hair. But we were kindof stuck, because the last step before the whole mustache is gone...is the...

...toothbrush...

Made, perhaps, most famous by:

Charlie Chaplin

And taken away with the end of World War II by this guy:

He wouldn't look nearly as pissed off if he didn't have this mustache.

I think even if Travis wanted to wear the look, it wouldn't be well received.

Too soon?

Yes, I think it's too soon to bring back the toothbrush, Travis. Off it goes.

Don't Fence Me In

Managed to sleep in and squeeze 4.5 miles in before fencework today.

The run, first since last Sunday's marathon, was shared with Siri and her dog Tierra. Siri is on damage control from the holidays and get-fit prep for her July wedding. Tierra couldn't care less to run alongside like a good little doggie. There are critters to chase, other dogs on the path to kill and needed much correction. We didn't break any records, but 4.5 miles done today and that is always a success.

Over New Year's weekend, we assembled the northwest corner of the fence and the west entry gates.

The mud might have been the worst part of this day

Don't look at the weld flash...it will burn your retinas.

Today, there's a storm on the horizon.

Travis asked if I wanted to help put up some more fence that he built from scratch, so three horses were turned out in the arena, we bundled up, and headed to the northeast end of our property line.

Filling in the blanks

Travis had spent much of his time in recovery building the sections of fence that would go in between the installed posts. We drove five sections to the front and Travis began leveling, shimming, cutting and welding the sections into place.

Custom installation

Travis was frustrated with the welder, but I tried to gently remind him that the only person who might nitpick his welds, other than himself, might be a professional welder. Of course, our neighbors across the street are welders, but they never come over...so I think we are in the clear.

Protective eyewear required to look at this picture.

Rounding the corner to the driveway

Grinding to fit

After about a half hour of staring at the corner to figure out alignment, level, a slight incline to the entry gate posts, Travis attached the last two pieces and all five sections east of the driveway were complete.

So, on top of welding and custom building a fence, he can golf, dirt bike (arguably), play tennis, play poker, drive RC cars, play shuffleboard, play almost any sport very well, road and mountain bike, run, do laundry (thank you), work on VWs, change the oil, change the transmission fluid, put air in my horse trailer tires, repair barns, build homes, remodel homes, drive tractors and bobcats, clip pets' nails, pick up food when his wife doesn't want to cook, feed horses when I am out of town riding horses or running marathons, and the list goes on and on. He can also make a girl laugh...and make her feel good (and beautiful). 

Yep, he's a keeper.

A little girl's toothache and a RNR Vegas Marathon headache

Surgery Recovery Day 2.

This evening, Travis says the pain is like a little girl's toothache. He took some painkillers last night and this morning, but is in good spirits tonight.

"Daddy" Louie came to visit today. I came home from work to remnants of Subway sandwiches on the table.

I wish I could sleep in

Marathon Recovery Day 3.

I've been moving around pretty good today. I can swish the dark fluid in my blood blister from one side to the next. My toenails still threaten to eject from their nailbeds. But I was hit with a whiffle ball bat of a head cold...the kind that turns on the invisible faucet in your nostrils. My jaw hurts from clenching and congestion.

Is the frigid temperature of the 2011 RNR Las Vegas Marathon to blame?

Why not? I have a lot of fecal matter to throw at that event. What happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas. It goes on the internet.

I'm not on Facebook, but I hear they are getting bombarded with complaints. Valid ones in my opinion. I am glad I had a great experience in San Francisco, because if Vegas had been my first marathon, it might have become my last.

My personal complaints:
1. They ran out of electrolytes. It was part of my strategy to take advantage of the electrolytes on the course. At about mile 17, there weren't any. This caused a little bit of panic.
2. They didn't enforce the marathon lanes (nor do I really think it would have been enforceable). Enough of the 38,000 half marathoners (many of whom were walking) used kind words like "Eff You!" when asked to move to the right by staff and my running partner De'Anna. The 6,000 marathoners were forced to bob and weave, hop on sidewalks, stop and switch directions the last 13.1 miles of the race.
3. Cheap Trick cheapened my deal by starting the show late...when I was heading to the start corrals. This gave the half marathoners a great show before their race started.
4. Bananas at the finish line were GREEN. Not greenish yellow, but green. People were puking green bananas inside and outside Mandalay Bay.
5. The water and electrolyte tables were set up in the marathon lanes, which added to congestion.
6. The first half was throw away miles. We got to see Vegas's finest industrial complexes for 13.1 miles.
7. I ran right past the Gold & Silver Pawn Shop without seeing Big Hoss, Old Man, Rick or Chumlee.

I don't think they were running...

The positives...
1. Was with a fun group of girls. De'Anna really helped me through this marathon. I had a tough time.
2. Marathon energy bars at the finish line (Snickers flavored) and a small bagel. Mmmmmm.
3. Love the medal.
4. Casey Abrams singing "God Bless America"
5. Genelle giving us some energy jelly beans at around mile 17 when we couldn't get electrolytes.
6. Crossing the finish line: De'Anna still full of energy got a groove going that brought a smile to my face as I came in just under my SF marathon time.
7. I beat Kate Gosselin (not that it matters, but she's in the news because of it). Thousands of people beat both of us.
8. The volunteers. They tried really hard to make the most out of a bad situation and had to deal with lots of angry runners. Those who stood out in the cold and cheered. That means so much when you are struggling to take another step.

The outcome...
It is unlikely I will sign up for a Rock N Roll Marathon in the near future, unless I hear things change. Clearly the marathoners were not priority in Vegas. Poor Mandalay Bay had their hands full with runners passing out, getting trampled, and needing aid in the halls of the casino.

11 ladies in a Lincoln Navigator

Ready to run, but unaware of what we were in for...

The road to recovery

What will it look like in 10 days?

Yesterday was pretty brutal.

I got home from Las Vegas just before 6am. I took a quick post-marathon shower and crawled into bed at 6:15, wrapped my arms around Travis and asked "what time do we need to get up?"

"7." His sleepy voice answered.

Ugh.

So when the alarm sounded, we rolled out of bed and got dressed. Horses and dogs were fed and we headed down to Apple Valley for Travis's knee surgery. I used the quick opportunity to complain about how sore I was before Travis would have a better reason to complain.

We arrive a little early and sat in the Taco for about 10 minutes chatting. Travis wasn't nervous about the surgery, just apprehensive about the long recovery. Clearly, he doesn't like to sit around.

We were called in almost immediately once he signed in and Mary Lou, a super nice nurse told him to get in the first bed.

"This one?" Travis asked.

"That would be the first bed." She replied.

Uh-oh. Mary Lou has a sarcastic side. It was on.

Among other things, Mary Lou took Travis's vitals, gave him an I.V., gave him his backless gown and asked him to remove all clothing, and shaved his knee. All of these procedures were open for jokes, but Mary Lou maintained her professionalism while keeping things light.

Dr. Chuong, an anesthesiologist who looked young enough to be in his first year of med school, came in and talked to Travis about a nerve block. This basically sounded like an epidural for your knee. Travis said he wanted it, and I was asked to go back to the waiting room while they numbed his leg. They brought me back in for a few more minutes before Dr. Chow was ready to take him into surgery at about 10am.

I napped in the truck while Travis was in surgery. I felt like a zombie. I had no idea how much time had passed when Jason called to check on Travis.

"What time is it?!" I asked, panicked. "11:30" Jason said. Oh good. They said it would be about 2 hours.

Running Vegas at night...or the clarity of Suzanne's brain on December 5.

Jason and I laughed about my harrowing night trying to get home from the RNR Las Vegas Marathon (more on this later). He woke me up enough to get myself back into the waiting room to see Travis post-op.

Dr. Chow came out and told me the surgery went well, that there was little cartilage damage and that the ACL replacement went well. His medial and lateral meniscus were damaged beyond repair, so Doc pretty much "trimmed up the flaps" and that was about all he could do.

Once Travis could form logical sentences, we were able to head home. Most of the night and into the morning, Travis seemed a bit concerned about how long his leg had been "dead". His foot literally looked disconnected from his body. He is looking at six to eight week timeframe to walk again. So we thought we could blog about it (and other things going on with us).

But just before posting our first blog entry at 3:15 today, Travis noticed he could wiggle his toes and foot. Yay! He called it a sock puppet.

Yeah! Painkillers!

That's a big step. (Pun intended?)